Be in it for you

It was my birthday in 2008, and I wasn't happy. I was tired and lazy, sad and robotic; I was anything but me. I was constantly on the road, making bad food choices (I mean who is watching what you eat when you eat alone and in a hotel room four nights a week?), not exercising, becoming a very odd mixture of an introverted extrovert. It was during a grocery run for my typical Pumpkin Spice Latte birthday treat that I came across a Taekwondo school in the same shopping center.  My parents enrolled me in martial arts as a child, and I remembered enjoying it immensely.

Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe I needed something I would really enjoy, something that would be mine - all about me. I walked in the door of that amazing school as "less than", and two years later I walked out with a new family, a new sense of self, self awareness, pride, strength, courage, and a smile. I took my black belt test on December 4th, I believe, and I moved on December 12th, 2010. I was excited for this new chapter in my life, but I was not excited to leave my dojang. It wasn't long before I started to feel a bit lost, overwhelmed, weighted again.

I had a blast over the next year and a half - making mistakes, making friends, having adventures, throwing myself full force into a life that would fully become mine over a few short months. I spent time eating wonderful foods, creating long and true friendships, loving my family with everything I had, working, and living. Unfortunately, as life does, you sometimes find yourself in a similar place to which you promised you wouldn't return. I was working out, sure, but I wasn't healthy. I realized, as I took a new job that kept me home, it was time to drink the kool-aid, again.

I started Crossfit three months ago. I started to really understand food and my body. I started to get up at 5:30am to go through a tortuous and wonderful hour of sweat, cussing, and personal bests.  It is amazing how happy this makes me - this taking care of myself. How crazy is it that we always think we need to "be in it" for someone else. SURE! Love someone, give to them, be supportive and available, but what about you? Don't you think you deserve some you time? When I walked into the dojang, I couldn't focus on anything but what I was doing. If I did, well, I would mess up or get kicked in the head - neither of which was appealing. I did Taekwondo for me. I did not do it for my relationship; I did not do it for my friends or family; I did not do it for work or school; I did this for me. The beautiful thing in this is that all of my accomplishments were also for me. What an amazingly healthy way to be selfish.

And so here I find myself in it for me, again, and I hope always. My accomplishments, changes, pushes, challenges, sweat, and all things that go along with Crossfit are all for me. It makes me a better friend, daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, employee, and doggie mom.

And so, all of that rambling leads to one point - be in it for you (at least once each day). Find that thing - whatever it may be - and go do it. If you aren't happy with who you are, do something about it, seriously. The choice really is yours, but I promise once you make it, it seems to matter much less what other people think and bad days seem less bad. After all, at the end of the day, you're making you happy and others are just adding to it.

Timing

It's all about timing. What is? Everything. All of it. All of the time. Timing.

Am I ready? Are they ready? Will we ever be ready? For babies, marriage, the next job, the next ask, to clear off one small shelf in the closet so they stop leaving their stuff on the floor?

There's never a perfect time... or is there?

Perfect is a bit strong in relation to timing, unless, of course we are talking about releasing a football or hitting a baseball or anything related to a tangible object, a definite answer, etc. As it relates to people, perfect doesn't exist. There is no perfect time or perfect person (trust me, I've looked). There is right now. There is what and who is in your path today. So what is perfect in that moment? This is the question to ask.

I was working with a great group last night on making the ask, but more specifically, talking about the challenges of recent past asks and next steps. While the end goal for the organization is to raise significant dollars, the donor may have a different end goal. Have you asked them? Where are THEY right now? What does your organization mean to them? Where do they want to see you go? How would their passions match up with helping you get there?

I often compare fund development to dating and marriage. You go into it, perhaps, knowing a bit about the person; heck, maybe they are your friend, but you've never seen them in this light. Hmmm, they look so shiny and new and a bit scary. You've called to ask them to meet up. You're nervous. You rehearse what you are going to say as you get ready. You put on your best outfit and check out how you look in the mirror. You then stop and realize that you BOTH know why you are meeting. There is no doubt that this is a date. You are going into this to see if there is something more or if you should remain just friends.

All of your nerves were for naught. The dinner was great! You both had a delightful time and now you know that they are interested. You are excited to see each other again and so it goes... date after date. Thank you notes and phone calls. Mailed articles of interest and next meetings. And then the day comes. It's been ten months. Do you take the next step? Are you ready? Are they ready?

****back to the actual point of the blog****

The reality is that some donors may be ready after meeting you twice, while others may not be ready for 18 months. There is no timetable on ready. The only question you can ask is, for what are they ready right now? More cultivation? Further engagement? The only way to find out is to meet, talk, discuss, and LISTEN.

So get excited. Be giddy. Do the happy dance. Clear off the shelf in your closet "just in case," but dear lord do NOT tell them you've done it!

When will they be ready? You'll just know... or so I've been told.

Failure, please, failure is just a motivator to succeed.

I was having a conversation with someone the other day who asked me what my biggest failures have been.

I laughed, literally, out loud. This seems like such a silly question. My biggest failures? You want just one? Do you mean the biggest hurdles? The times that seemed like failures until I realized they weren't? The creative ways for the world to kick my rear back to where it should be?

I have "failed" so many times that I've lost count. How many times have I seen crazy great things come out of insanely insurmountable challenges? A few. But then again, I guess no challenge is totally insurmountable.

I was having a conversation with my dad a couple of months ago. He was saying that he felt like he had wasted this last year - hadn't done all he could do to REALLY take advantage of the year.

My response was that amidst all of the chemo, radiation, doctor appointments, birthday parties, portrait unveilings, christmas, and new years, he spent more time with his family in this last year than he had probably ever done prior - combined.

What he initially saw as a failure on his part was the largest gift ever given to me.

Don't forget to look for the reasons why you are dusting yourself off as you stand up from being thrown down.

True Colors

In the world of google, there can be little doubt that, eventually, your and/or your organization's true colors will come shining through.

I heard this song on my way to a client this morning and it struck a chord more so today than in days past. Transparency, honesty, integrity, and loyalty are, to me, the most important character traits one can possess. Yes, I love it when a person or organization pushes the envelope. I love it when people stir the pot and create a new line of thinking. I truly enjoy walking into a room where no one person thinks just as the one to your right or left.

It is how we act and respond when we encounter situations such as these that really bring out our true colors.

In response to the Invisible Children campaign that has gone viral and has  now made Kony an unfortunate household name, good for you. Regardless of how you feel about Kony or Invisible Children, this media campaign has shed light on a situation that has not been paid much attention. Now, I have strong feelings about a mass of people all of the sudden giving to a cause about which they know little. This is politically charged and we are talking about people's lives. The reality is that often times funding to these types of issues does not actually get into the hands that will affect good change, but into the hands of those who oppress.

So while there are positives and negatives to this, the world is no longer ignorant. Emotions, resources, and inertia are now in play. A movement, should positive motion occur, has been started.

How this organization and others like it respond will make a difference. Either way, their true colors will come into play.

Your true colors come into play every day. Don't be tempted to give in to episodes of childish and irrational behavior simply because you want to prove a point or don't like what another organization or person is saying or doing. The only point you will prove is that you don't make wise choices in the face of confrontation.

Innovation, Social Change and Collaborative Action

I am working on my Capstone for my Masters in Philanthropy and Development from Saint Mary's University of Minnesota. I tossed around several different topics for this paper over the past few years and finally settled on one topic that combines three areas of interest: How Globalization Impacts Philanthropy in the Millennial Generation.

My first year at Saint Mary's, I had a class on globalization and it truly changed the way I viewed all nonprofit work. Globalization is a huge word with a very nebulous meaning. Regardless of how you define globalization, there are several world events that created this concept and reality. One of these events was the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. The collapse of the wall and the reduction in borders created the opportunity for globalization to take off, and quickly. The rise of the industrial revolution and internet revolution, and then, as Jon Dushinsky puts it, the rise of the individual revolution.

Fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989

The Millennial generation, those born between 1982 and 2000 (there is some dispute on the years), grew up in the era of globalization. As children during the fall of the Berlin Wall and the creation of the internet and World Wide Web, then search engines, social networking, google, apple's resurgence, etc, this generation works, thinks and acts differently. They embrace the individual revolution, but in a collaborative manner.

What does this mean for nonprofit organizations? What does it mean for all of us who work as, with, for, around or in collaboration with Millennials? It means that we can't expect for them to act like us. It means we need to understand who we are, who they are and how we can work together to create serious social change in a massively conflicted world.

These, now young adults, have traveled the world, have friends across borders, although they see no borders in their world, are highly educated, have been taught to be collaborative, but to accept their role as individuals in action. These savvy individuals are passionate. They want to see change and they will create their own movements to do it. Unlike generations before them, they also have the tools to make waves, create change and all through innovation and collaborative action.

In a time when governments around the world have reduced funding to nonprofit and nongovernmental organizations, Millennials and like minded individuals in other generations are being innovative in their approach to bridge the gap between what the organization can afford to provide and what their constituents need.

The rise of social entrepreneurship, innovation and business is here. It is happening and the Millennials are taking the lead.

How can we work with this group? How can we foster their creative, innovative and passionate spirit? Listen, be open to new ideas. Let's get out of this "box" of traditional fund development methods and add in a bit of Millennial attitude. Instead of trying to always find another grant, major gift or government supporter, why don't we think of how we can create sustainable change through sustainable funding. Just a thought.

My Other Voice

When I started this blog a few years ago, it started out as a place to voice my thoughts. It also started out as a place for me to keep track of some of the things I was learning, experiencing, etc. Over time, it has grown into a completely work focused blog. Now, this isn't surprising as I spent a vast amount of time thinking about "work" related happenings. For me, this is not work. It is a passion.

Interestingly, since I moved back home to Charleston, SC a little over a year ago, my attitude has shifted. It has not shifted away from my passion for social change and philanthropy, but instead has grown to include a passion for good food, good friends, great laughter and high adventures. With this being said, I've decided (with a bit of a nudge from a friend of mine) to find my voice in these pages. To allow each piece of my life and experiences to relate to one another.

And so, now I must write about PASSION.

I LOVE what I do. I am not just saying that. I sincerely, whole heartedly, no sarcasm included, without shame and with great dogmatism, LOVE what I do. I love my clients; I love working with so many fantastic people; I love the lack of routine; I love it all! The only part that I do not 100% love is the travel. There is a certain lack of decent food in many places. Hotels always vary, although a Hampton Inn is typically a solid choice. Too many people stay in the left hand lane when they shouldn't. Arm rests on airplanes are a hot commodity. And, to be honest, I have a massive desire to get my Jane Fonda on in the smallest of places at the foot of my bed while watching the dvd on my computer for the millionth time. But all of this together creates a life that I love.

The second part of that slight rant leads me to this new voice that I've found. I have a PASSION for Charleston.

 I am SO incredibly in love with this city. If you have not been here, run, do NOT walk, to your car, nearest airport (ok, perhaps first your car), etc. This city IS passion. It is passionate about its history. It is passionate about its food. It is passionate about its architecture. It is passionate about its culture, its way of life. This city is about experience. It is about relationships. It is about finding the amazing local treasures such as Butcher and the Bee and Goat. Sheep. Cow, having a slightly twisted and yet overwhelmingly amazing relationship with them and then adding another in a few weeks down the road.

This city is about LOVE. After all, isn't love a derivative of passion? This city is about PEOPLE. It is about the experience.

So how does this relate to my work? Because that is what the most successful in philanthropy do. They find people's passions, love, adventures, treasures and they relate them to their organization. People WANT passion in their lives. It is a driver for our successes and challenges. Create passion and you create change.