Trust, establishing it and destroying it

It is always amazing to me how long it takes to establish trust and how quickly we can destroy it. In our relationships, professional and personal, we work hard to establish trust, acceptance, communication and yet the first time we take it for granted, all of that work has the ability to fly right out of the window... sometimes never to return.

How can we have open conversation, be vulnerable, ask the cage rattling questions, push and pull, support and contradict if we don't have trust? We can't, not really. We can make believe that we are doing all of those things, but when push really comes to shove, we clam up and go with the flow rather than find our voice and lead the group, partnership, etc to a better place. This is horrific. It is sad. It is harmful.

Trust is the fundamental layer of all human and animal interaction. We, as humans, can be just as skittish as a wild animal that is in an unfamiliar or threatening situation. Yet once we build that trust after showing that we, you, all are safe, that vulnerability is welcome and appreciated, that no one person is the dictator, but all are partners, it is amazing what can and does happen.

The trust is established and you have a bad day, are tired, frustrated, whatever it may be and you "forget" to keep the trust flowing. You destroy the "safe" zone because you don't want, need, remember to foster the trust by open and accepting communication. You may not even realize it, because for you, it was just a bad day, but for the other(s) it was a horribly sad day that they can't let go and may never overcome.

So please, the next time you get frustrated that someone doesn't understand the question you are asking and requests clarification or tries to provide an answer that isn't acceptable to you or doesn't do something just as you would, don't snap, because that single moment can lead to the destruction of the very thing your relationship depends: trust.