A place for me and my thoughts and any of your thoughts you want to share. This is a SAFE place where ALL thoughts are welcome as long as they respect other views. I created this blog so that I wouldn't forget about what catches my attention throughout the day or put aside something that needs to be brought to the forefront. As this will tend to be a stream of consciousness, feel free to read, react, etc to what you will.
While I was up at school this summer, my cohortmates introduced the idea of us starting our own consulting firm. Needless to say, we would be amazing because THEY are amazing, but that isn't what this blog is about today. Apparently, my role in the firm would be to come in after everyone else and bottom line it. Huh, I guess it shows through that I don't have much patience for the fluff and would MUCH rather get right down to what is going to make you effective and what is going to derail you. I do realize that not everyone appreciates this behavior, but at some point, I do think it is critical to lay it on the line and make a decision.
If you want to be better, then be better. Make the decision and stick with it, but do NOT say that you want to raise more money or be more engaging and transparent but not make the commitment to do what needs to be done to make it happen.
Before you decide on anything, figure out where you want to go and who you want to be. THEN decide what it will take to get there. THEN before you decide to move forward with anything, make the commitment, understand the process and hold on for the ride. If you decide you do NOT want to do what it will take to make it happen, then go back to where you want to go and who you want to be, because you will never get there just because you say it.
The two weeks of my summer residency are over. I am in the shuttle on the way to the Minneapolis airport and listening to my cohort mates chatter behind me. We have sworn off any philanthrotalk for the moment, but we don't last long. We love what we do. Don't let any of them fool you, they love being a facilitator of philanthropy and they are so good at doing it! I am thankful to have them working to make this world better everyday.
Here are a few nuggets I picked up this year.
1) Boards: How many times have you established clear lines between management and governance with your board? We, as development professionals, become so aggravated when our boards begin to get involved in management issues and yet, instead of setting clear and understood expectations, we "go along with it." Why? Well, it may have something to do with the fact that the CEO reports to the board... ah yes, a delightful and perhaps necessary conflict of interest. The CEO has to report to someone, but how can we effectively guide and manage a body who has the ability to reward us or release us? Of course, personality conflicts shouldn't be the cause of a "thank and release," however, as we are humans... it happens. So imagine if you will setting up the guidelines from the beginning. What if you were to start off your first board retreat with this type of intro: "I need you to forget everything you have learned about being on a board. Throw away your assumptions and past models. We have transformational change to lead here and in order to do it we need to be transformational." And THEN you work to create an environment where EVERY board member has a voice, there is no forceful leader, there is collaboration, heated discussions and instead of report review, we ask meaningful, governing questions. What if.... why not?
2) Development Plans: These beasts are not for the faint of heart, but essential none the less. Basic? Perhaps, but we so often brush past the basic and run for the bottom line. How are you supposed to blow beyond the bottom line if you have no idea where you have been, where you want to go and how you are going to get there? My next question is, how can you get anywhere without buy in from your staff, CEO, board, community, donors, etc? You may be able to based on pure call volume and general people skills combined with passionate people, but one day, that isn't going to be enough. What then? Don't forget the plan people! Plans, while not perfect, help you move beyond the rut you will undoubtably encounter.
3) Cross-cultural Philanthropy: This one is simple: we are not all the same, we have different traditions, beliefs, cultures, etc. Understand the general and then get specific and individual. Regardless of culture, we are all individuals, however, we do have certain behaviors based on environment. Talk to people, understand them, know their story and then know if or how it matches up with yours.
4) Marketing: Know your audience. Common theme, eh? (that is for my Canadian friends). Know the tools; use the ones you can strategically. Test things to see if your message resonates and is clear. Don't talk to us all in the same way. This is the same thing you hear over and over and over again, and yet... we don't do it well enough. Let's all make the effort to understand it is about the cause, not the organization. It is about the needs of the community, not of you, me or Bobby Sue.
Thank you Cohort 19 for another amazing year. Next up, papers, online classes and then our Capstone. Oh for cute (said in a MN accent).
It is always amazing to me how long it takes to establish trust and how quickly we can destroy it. In our relationships, professional and personal, we work hard to establish trust, acceptance, communication and yet the first time we take it for granted, all of that work has the ability to fly right out of the window... sometimes never to return.
How can we have open conversation, be vulnerable, ask the cage rattling questions, push and pull, support and contradict if we don't have trust? We can't, not really. We can make believe that we are doing all of those things, but when push really comes to shove, we clam up and go with the flow rather than find our voice and lead the group, partnership, etc to a better place. This is horrific. It is sad. It is harmful.
Trust is the fundamental layer of all human and animal interaction. We, as humans, can be just as skittish as a wild animal that is in an unfamiliar or threatening situation. Yet once we build that trust after showing that we, you, all are safe, that vulnerability is welcome and appreciated, that no one person is the dictator, but all are partners, it is amazing what can and does happen.
The trust is established and you have a bad day, are tired, frustrated, whatever it may be and you "forget" to keep the trust flowing. You destroy the "safe" zone because you don't want, need, remember to foster the trust by open and accepting communication. You may not even realize it, because for you, it was just a bad day, but for the other(s) it was a horribly sad day that they can't let go and may never overcome.
So please, the next time you get frustrated that someone doesn't understand the question you are asking and requests clarification or tries to provide an answer that isn't acceptable to you or doesn't do something just as you would, don't snap, because that single moment can lead to the destruction of the very thing your relationship depends: trust.
My second year at St. Mary's for my M.A. in Philanthropy and Development begins today. I am sitting in a Starbucks in Rochester, MN awaiting the shuttle to take me to campus for two weeks of unadulterated philanthropology. Oh how the fire in my belly is starting to ignite just thinking about it. Around April of last year, I decided that if I didn't jump in full force and just go back to school, I wouldn't do it at all. I had to ship and ship fast. The following 2.5 months were a whirlwind to get ready for my first year. I was nervous, unsure, curious, excited, but most of all a sponge, ready to soak it all in. I decided that for the first time in a long time that I needed to be the student. I didn't have to be right, know everything, figure it all out. Ahhhh.... so nice! I loved the idea of leaving my consultant hat at the door and walking into the first class me, just me and nothing else. I wasn't here for my firm or for anyone but me, and it was the very best decision I could have made. What I learned from my cohort mates and instructors is indescribable. I was pushed to think far beyond where my mind usually takes me and was humbled by all that I didn't know. While I was aware that there was SO much to learn, I don't think I quite realized how narrowly focused I had been for so long... my doors were blown wide open!
And so here I sit, in anticipation of year two. I can't wait to see everyone, to push and be pushed, to explore and learn and teach and share all over again. There is no doubt the fire in my belly will be burning again after these two weeks, but I feel better prepared for it this go round. I am not as nervous, but nervous still. I am not overwhelmed, but more open to everything there is to learn and understand. Most of all, I am ready for the tremendous growth to which I will give myself over. It is amazing how much has changed over the past year, and at the same time, how much is exactly the same. Let the learning commence!
I am in the process of trying to sum up all that my (almost) 40 year old brother has meant to me over the years. It is difficult to say the least to express that much love and admiration and appreciation into words. To me, it almost seems as if there really aren't words in the english language that can justify my thoughts and feelings, and so I resist. I resist writing them down because what if they can't or don't explain well enough. The words I know aren't perfect, so I resist writing them down, sending them, expressing them.
I see this practice of resistance everyday in my work. We resist taking risks, we resist writing thank you notes, we resist trying new things, we resist writing a Case that actually means something to someone, we resist - everything. We WANT to do it... we WANT to see the results, but we don't want to be responsible if the outcome is less than desirable.
Well guess what, if we don't do it, we will never know if it worked. If we don't send the letter, write the words, try something new, we will never know why something didn't work and how to do it better. If I don't write this letter, my brother will never know how I feel or what I think. So you have to weigh which would be more harmful... my words being somewhat inadequate or my brother thinking that I don't care as much as I do.
So the next time you are wondering if you should call your donor to say thank you, send a personal note, stop by to let them know what is going on... or simply show your appreciation, do not resist! A little goes a long way....
How many times have you heard this or something similar from your CEO/President? "We need X, so can you go and raise the money for that? Thanks." My guess is that if you have heard it a minimum of one time, it is too many.
I wish the "powers that be" would incorporate philanthropy and its impact into all educational programs. I'm not saying the curriculum should revolve AROUND philanthropy, but can you imagine if every hospital CEO actually understood and appreciated what philanthropy can do for their hospital, system, etc? What would it mean if philanthropy was no longer an after thought, but incorporated from the very beginning?
I have seen cultures change, CEO's grasp the concept, engage and voila... AMAZING success! It is exciting, it is empowering... it becomes transformational.
In a perfect world, the head of fund development has a seat at the leadership table, has an office near the CEO, is included in the strategic planning process, etc. What is interesting to me is how much better everyone feels when this happens and yet there is still such a strong resistance to change. I suppose that is human nature and our lizard brain getting in the way again.
I am so incredibly lucky. Right now I am working with two CEOs who are AMAZINGLY receptive! They WANT to succeed. They are DRIVING the process. Both of them always make the resources available needed to bring philanthropy to the most successful level possible. Yes, it is an investment up front. Yes, it calls for a change in internal culture. Yes, it calls for them to lead the effort, to speak out and in favor of these changes... no, it is not always easy, and yet, they always make it happen. Some days I hold my breath waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting for them to say no - no more!
So what makes these two leaders so open to the process? So willing to engage? So appreciative of philanthropy? I don't really know for sure, but I plan on asking them on my next visit. I think perhaps it is that they are true leaders with nothing but vision...
What about you? What do you think drives this behavior? And better yet, how do we encourage more of it early and often?
Yes, I, like so many, have my favorite bloggers and I can't help but to want to share! Why? Well, as usual, there is a story behind the motivation.
I was at lunch with a friend and former colleague yesterday. We hadn't seen each other in a long time, you know... that thing called life keeps getting in the way! As we began talking, I could see that she was feeling like a cog in the system. We have ALL been there and some of us stay and some of us run like hell. It is time for her to run like the wind, but it is almost impossible to do that with a lizard brain that has been very happy with having its way for quite a while without a little inspiration.
So we talked about life, work, ups and downs, what she wanted next, etc. I spoke with her about deciding to take the risk, about understanding that sometimes our biggest failures turn into our greatest successes, that without doing something, we are all inevitably doomed to do nothing. I told her she needed to read Linchpin by Seth Godin. I also told her she needed to decide to take action and then do it. Get your CFRE, go back to school... become inspired!
After that conversation, I began to think about my inspiration. How do I fight my lizard brain everyday? And trust me, I do fight it everyday! Heading back to school for my M.A. in Philanthropy & Development at St. Mary's was probably the biggest infusion of inspiration, but there are ongoing sources I turn to as often as possible, and many of those are phenomenal people communicating great things. You will see my blog list to the right hand side of this blog. Read them, follow them, gain inspiration and then inspire others! Seriously, think about what this world could be if we all became inspired and a war against the lizard brain ensued?
So after reading "The Truth about What Nonprofit Boards Want", I am much more aware of what we, as nonprofit professionals need to be thinking, doing, evaluating to engage our boards to the greatest extent possible.
After research done by Corporate DevelopMint, the firm discovered that through correlation theory and linear regression analysis that the number one indicator for fundraising success is giving by the governing board: TOTAL giving, not percentage of the board giving. Ah HA! So the question then became, how do we get board members to give and engage at the greatest level possible? In the search for understanding what motivates Board members to engage, June Bradham gathered many stories through many discussions to better understand the answer.
She discovered nine truths:
Stellar board makeup
Passion for the cause
The right CEO or ED
Social time
Trust and transparency
The right kind of ask
The ability to get their hands dirty
Meaningful education
If you haven't read the book, you should... great information!
So the next logical questions are:
What do YOU as the CEO/ED/President want/need from your board?
What are some of the greatest successes and challenges?
I would really like to hear your stories about some of the best and worst times involving your board. Feel free to either message me privately, email me (tbranham@corporatedevelopmint.com) or leave a message here!
I was conducting a Vision and Mission session a few weeks ago with a few highly intelligent, dedicated, fabulous people who are working hard to create a foundation for the hospital they serve. About 5 minutes into the session I looked around to see 8 confused faces staring back at me. I had to stop and laugh for a minute. "What is it?" I asked. The chair of the Board of Trustees looked at me and said, "Tucker, what are you talking about? You have it all mixed up!" Huh, well, this is a good way to start of this type of a session. I mean, this process is amazing, but agonizing much of the time, so if they don't even know what a Vision statement is, we are in serious trouble!
So I asked them to explain to me what it is that I was confused about... what was I mixing up? They stated that I had the Vision and Mission statement confused with each other. To them, the Mission comes first and it is the grand dream for why the organization even exists. Then the vision statement is next telling how we will accomplish our Mission. Interesting.
This is not a blog about what a Vision is or what a Mission is, although, perhaps we should all have a discussion about that - later, but it is about communication. How can we communicate if our understanding of words, concepts, theories, tools, etc are different? We can't, at least not effectively anyway.
How often do we stop and ask, "are we on the same page here?" Is your definition the same as mine when we are talking about simple or complex concepts? Perhaps it isn't that we aren't being heard or we aren't listening, but that we aren't talking about the same thing while using the same words.
Next time, before I start this process, I will ask them what they define as a Mission and Vision. I should have been doing this all along instead of assuming that the way I see it is the way everyone sees it. After all, to assume makes an ass out of you and me!
Back in the day of Rockefellar and Carnegie and others, we saw a real shift in the way donors began to think about giving back and making an impact. Charity had long been top of mind for anyone who wanted to help others, a cause, etc. Charity was/is easy, it meets an immediate need and does not always have to have a long, thought out process behind finding a solution to a problem. Charity is necessary and we always see a pendulum swing back toward this style of giving when the economy begins to slide.
Well, when Rockefellar and Carnegie (and others, there were definitely others, but for the sake of this post, let's keep it simple) came along with their mega bucks and powerful leverage in the world, they started a movement to something referred to as scientific philanthropy. They wanted to create long term and ongoing solutions to problems. This is not meant to be a history lesson, so I'm going to stop there with the background info, but there is a reason I bring it up. I feel that we are once again in a new era of philanthropy.
We have new power leaders in town (Gates, Buffett, Oprah, etc) and these folks are getting really tired of stroking a check without it being an investment that is going to work, create a major impact and it is going to be a VERY long term solution that will keep giving back. I, for one, am in love with this notion. Others, I think, are scared of it. What does this mean for us? Many leaders in the NPO world think it means nothing for them. They aren't going to change, their models are still going to work, they will still raise money.
This isn't totally incorrect. I have no doubt their models will still work for some and they will still raise money, but things will change - with or without them. See, it isn't just the big power gurus who are beginning to think this way. The entrepreneurs that you so desperately want on your board... they think that way too. Many donors are getting tired of you asking them time and again to give you millions of dollars. What did you do with the last round? Why are you not changing your model to make the funds you raised an investment rather than a gift?
Ok, Tucker, what are you talking about really? Let me give you an example that was related to me... and I think it makes the point. The local University wants to build a new music studio and library that teaches many languages, has a recording studio, etc... you get the picture. In order to make it happen in the best possible way, they will need to "raise" $10M from the greater community. You have two options, you can either do it the traditional way and go get a $3M gift and a $1.5M gift, a couple of $750,000 gifts and then move to the $500K level and so on. OR you can decide, let's look at this project a bit differently. You begin to ask, what would it take to generate revenue from the community for this facility in exchange for it being open to them? If you could answer that question and approach an investor/donor with the invitation to invest in this project, knowing that in 10 years, that $10M would be earned in revenue, then be reinvested... meaning that the original investment of $10M would continue to be reinvested... what else could you build, install, make happen?
So my question is why are we NOT thinking this way? What would it take to make us start thinking this way and asking these questions?
Because whether or not we, as nonprofit professionals, are ready to change in the face of this new philanthropy, our donors are there... I suggest we jump on this train and soon!
It never ceases to amaze me how few people get excited about transparency. O.K., let me rephrase... it never ceases to amaze me how few board members, CEOs, CFOs, administrative leaders, etc. get excited about transparency, but it has ceased to surprise me. On the other hand, donors, shareholders, volunteers, community members, etc. are pleasantly surprised, elated, excited when these organizations do open their arms as say, "Trust us! We have nothing to hide. Ask us! We want to answer your questions. Drill us! We are prepared and ready."
My concern is never the organizations that want to show everyone what they are up to, their finances, their projections, but the ones that hold it so close to the vest. If I am your donor, volunteer, shareholder, etc. I want to know why you don't share that with me - openly, honestly, without hesitation. What is holding you back? What are you doing that you shouldn't be doing?
The lack of proactive transparency signals red flags. When I would hide things under my bed, it was never because I was excited at the prospect of my mother finding them... and my answer was typically, "It isn't mine! I'm holding it for Sammy."
So my question to you is this - are you ready to take ownership, answer questions, share your past, present and future with those who care so much about you or are you going to try and hide everything and blame it on poor Sammy when you have been discovered?
I read the Agitator's blog and if you don't, you should, because whether you agree or not, he at least makes you really irritated or makes you think and nod your head. Either way, he drives an emotional response.
I think one of the reasons this blog does get such a big reaction is because he always comes across as a "whatever I say is the absolute and if you don't believe me then you are seriously ignorant and misinformed." Now that may or may not be the intent, but regardless, that is how it is perceived... by me anyway.
So "The Agitator" aka Tom Belford very firmly believes that Gen Y and most of Gen X are a total waist of fundraising time. I have read his blogs and gotten so agitated at his narrow minded, think inside the box, lack of big picture thinking that I can barely stand it. It may not help that I am an incredibly reactionary person. After reading his post today, I couldn't take it anymore.
Tom points out that while Gen Y may have more people than Boomers at this time, they don't have any money, so spending time on them really isn't worth it... ok, so he actually said this in previous posts and then today talked more about having balance with it. Regardless, it is apparent that what he doesn't understand is that if you don't take the time to cultivate Gen Y NOW, you may lose your chance for the future with them... and let's face it, at some point, those people are going to have the money and power that you so desperately want to have engaged in your organization. So Tom, what happens then? Let's say people think you actually are RIGHT in that we shouldn't care so much about the younger generations because we all want immediate gratification and funding. Heaven forbid we think about the future and what could be possible if we actually did engage this social savvy, connected, influential group of people. You think Gen Y doesn't have influence, power, money? Really? Did you even see the Obama campaign? (I actually hate to use this example because I think it is too heavily used, but it does provide a great example.). Have you seen Charity Water take off? Tom's Shoes? Kiva? Regardless of what you think about the actual organization or cause, you can't argue that these thought leaders and YOUNG innovators have taken the philanthropic world by storm.
What is my point? My point is this, we have a choice to nod our head and agree with those who say we, Gen X and Y, have nothing to offer the philanthropic world at this time but our social networks and word of mouth (which is huge I might add... and to give a nod, Tom Belford did mention this), OR we can actually get our head out of our rears to look far enough into the future to say, huh, I know we have always done it this way, but perhaps it is time we open our minds to a new way of thinking and engaging...
In the end, The Agitator did its job... I am officially agitated!
We have been hearing so much lately about giving knowledge, time, talent away in order to share with our societies to increase success for everyone. When we share, it comes back to us ten fold. Yet, so many people have such a hard time with this concept. What is mine, is mine. If you want it, you can pay me for it... a lot for it.
I was at dinner tonight at one of my favorite places (Farm Burger) because they have the best Quinoa burger I have ever tasted! So at the end of the meal, I asked if they would consider posting the recipe for this burger or at least giving it to me. I mean, it doesn't hurt to ask right? Of course, the manager was appalled that I would even ask. Of course not! How could we possibly GIVE you something that we want you to PAY for!
The problem with this thought process is that I wouldn't stop coming to Farm Burger if I had the recipe. Actually, I would probably do what I could to increase their business. Why? 1) I'm not always up for cooking the burger. It takes time and ingredients that I don't always have. 2) I would be so grateful for them sharing their knowledge that I would try to give back as much as I could to them. 3) I would be such a happy customer that I would send out the message to my tribe. I would put their recipe into the hands of other quinoa lovers who would, no doubt, blog about Farm Burger's recipe... hopefully generating even more business.
Not at any point would sharing their knowledge have resulted in anything but positive action. Yet, all they could see is the archaic thought of what is mine is mine and you can't have it for less than....
So my question to you is, what would you say if I asked you for your recipe?
And yes, another side story. The question: to dictate or lead?
Earlier today I heard my cat screeching if you will and it became apparent very quickly that she had a prize she was ready to share... a baby bird. Of course, I just about freak out because I can't stand to kill things, see them being killed, being a part of dying, etc. As I am about to move the floor mat, the bird bounces up and starts chirping to its mother that is now hovering above my head on a tree limb. The poor thing is way too young to fly: its wings aren't yet formed enough to do so. What to do? I can't touch it or else the mama bird won't want to have anything to do with it. So I wrangle all of the animals (two dogs and a cat) inside and then sit and watch from my couch to see what will happen.
Eventually, the mother bird figures out it is "safe" to come over to her baby. She brings food... a bribe if you will. I can tell it is a bribe because she keeps taunting the baby bird with it. If the baby wants it, he/she will have to jump off of the deck to the grass below. She keeps showing her baby over and over again what she wants her to do. Obviously, the baby has a mind of its own and wants nothing to do with the long drop. So what? Why am I telling this story? Because as I was watching this encounter, I realized that we all need to be shown and led in a direction. It isn't that we need someone telling us EXACTLY what to do, but we do need guidance. The mother bird wasn't pushing the baby off of the deck nor was she screeching and chirping at him/her, but just showing and leading the way. Whether or not the baby followed was up to it and the consequences of either choice was a direct result of what decision was made.
So when you see someone struggling, don't try to give step by step instructions (unless they are needed), but simply nudge and show/lead the way. What happens next is up to us.
I do realize that I have been talking a lot about Seth Godin lately, but I can't help it. Do you remember when you were a teenager and you had such angst about life? Well, for those of you in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties (get the picture?) - you know that the angst changes, but never goes away. As a matter of fact, I think I go through a crossroads of life every decade. At least it keeps me on my toes, right?
So it isn't that I am at a huge crossroads, but I do feel as though I'm at my own tipping point and I can decide to push myself over the edge or I can let my "lizard brain" win out and stay safely in the corner, clocking in and doing my job... never making waves, never attempting to do more, better, onward and upward. Of course, I don't REALLY have a choice because of who I am. Who I am always wins out against the lizard brain instinct. Let me take a minute, for those of you who don't know, to explain what I/Seth Godin means by lizard brain.
Your lizard brain is also known as the resistance. According to Seth Godin in his newest book, Linchpin, he has this to say about your lizard brain:
"The lizard brain is hungry, scared, angry, and horny.
The lizard brain only wants to eat and be safe.
The lizard brain cares what everyone else thinks, because status in the tribe is essential to its survival.
A squirrel runs around looking for nuts, hiding from foxes, listening for predators, and watching for other squirrels. The squirrel does this because that's all it can do. All the squirrel has is a lizard brain.
The only correct answer to "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is "Because its lizard brain told it to." Wild animals are wild because the only brain they possess is a lizard brain.
The lizard brain is not merely a concept. It's real, and it's living on the top of your spine, fighting for your survival. But, of course, survival and success are not the same thing.
The lizard brain is the reason you're afraid, the reason you don't do all the art you can, the reason you don't ship when you can. The lizard brain is the source of the resistance."
AH HA! So now I know what to call it; I know how to recognize it; I know how to defeat it, but it is STRONG and POWERFUL and PERSUASIVE! I know what I WANT to do and what I SHOULD do and, and, and... but I haven't (well, I haven't shipped... I've talked about shipping and I've made progress, but I haven't pushed the button... not yet anyway). And so, my lizard brain has won out as of late. The resistance is standing strong and holding fast... but I'm going to kick it's butt. I think (NO, GET OUT OF MY HEAD... )... I will!
No, I don't have multiple personality disorder, but I have finally figured it out. It is our human, animalistic instinct to play it safe, to not push too hard or rock too fast. We are designed to not fail, to not question, to keep our "daemon" quiet... our genius if you will. The problem with that, for me at least, is that my daemon is strong and it is really ticked off that I have allowed my lizard brain to win out over time. I would argue that some of my closest friends and family would say, "are you kidding me? I don't think I have ever known you to NOT push, vocalize, quiet." But I have... I am... I do!
As I said in an earlier post, I fear failure... correction, my lizard brain fears failure. My daemon craves success, sharing, vocalizing, creating, challenging... And so far, the fight hasn't been all that fair. I haven't supported my daemon enough. I haven't given myself permission to "fail" to try, to succeed... because after all, isn't success just as scary as failure? I mean, if we succeed, we have to keep going right? If we do it, and it works, we can't say, "well, that was fun... see ya later!" NO, if we succeed, others will want to join the tribe, we will have to lead that tribe, we will have to CONTINUE to fight the lizard brain and man is that exhausting...
Then again, wouldn't it be even more exhausting to hide and live in fear of something we refer to as "lizard brain?"
Facebook is a marvelous thing. Yes, privacy issues, high expectations, blah, blah, blah... but all of those "we want it all and we want it now even though it is free and a social media tool for the world to see" feelings aside, allows us to reconnect with people we haven't seen in a long time. Some of those people were meaningful to us and so, to "see" them again is a better than great feeling. I have several of them on my page.
One of these friends was a huge part of my life my freshman year in college. That year that took my soul, ripped it from my chest, twisted it around in every which way and THEN tried to shove it back in to a place that no longer fit. Yes, it was an interesting year - wonderful and hard and so many things. My friends helped me survive that year and I have never forgotten them. So, back on track... This friend, we will call her Mary, was one of those people. We were crazy alike in personality - blunt but loyal, direct but caring... you get the drift. So Mary was one of my favorite people and I had missed her terribly over the years. When I found her again on facebook, I was able to see how very much she was the same and how very much she had grown. I loved it - every picture, every story, everything! Then I found her blog.
Now Mary was always an amazing writer, but her blog is so good that I find myself making time to read it - just to hear her stories in her voice. They make me laugh and cry all at the same time. Last night, I felt the need to tell her how much I appreciated her friendship, how much I miss it today and how phenomenal of a writer I think she is. Personally, I think the world is missing out on her writing and that she should rectify that situation with a book. I would buy it - I would buy it for all of my girlfriends... she is that good.
So I said thank you and then I said that I hope she would write a book. I knew that her life was busy, but even if it took 10 years, she should do it. She has a talent and we need a talent like hers in this insane world. Something to make us laugh and cry and call our girlfriends to talk about it.
I heard back from her this morning - it is amazing how little time and distance and different paths can do to a friendship: one rooted out of unconditional bonds. She said that my email was timed perfectly, for several reasons and that she had been thinking of writing a book but had always pushed it down. Perhaps my email was the reminder she needed. Maybe there is no longer a reason to wait - maybe there never was.
We all need to be pushed a little. No matter how daring or adventurous or confident or talented we are, taking that leap to do something bigger than we ever imagined is hard. It is scary and overwhelming. So make sure you can be that person for those you love and care about. Make sure you allow others to be that for you. We NEED people to do things bigger and better and the only way we will get that is for others to encourage and push and prod and, and, and....
Thank you Mary! I believe in you and I can't wait to buy a copy of your first book...
Of course, I could borrow just about everything that Seth Godin has written and say, "Have you seen this???" I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the way he not only thinks, but also presents his thoughts.
100+ people liked this - you, and at least 100 more
The number of people you need to ask for permission keeps going down:
1. Go, make something happen.
2. Do work you're proud of.
3. Treat people with respect.
4. Make big promises and keep them.
5. Ship it out the door.
When in doubt, see #1.
I am so incredibly lucky that I get to do what I do for a living. My friends think I am crazy, in a way, although I'm not sure they really understand what it is that I do - exactly. Yes, I am on the road most of the time. Yes, I work long hours and log many miles. I also get to meet incredible people everyday; I get to make a very real difference in this world; I get to see the impact of my hard work for years and years to come; and my circle of friends expands with every new client with whom I am privileged enough to work. On top of all of that I get to work with my amazing mother and learn from her everyday.
All of those reasons make me incredibly fortunate. Yet the number one reason I am the luckiest person alive is that I get to push the boundaries everyday. I don't have to work in a template fashion and I get to use my brain - all of it - to come up with the best possible solution to every challenge I encounter. How many people can say that? I hope more than I can imagine.
So when you find yourself griping about your job or your lot in life, think about the things that make you lucky. If the lucky doesn't outweigh the challenging, then DO something different. PLEASE do not continue down your path because it is "the best you can do right now." This is crap. After all "whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."
I have a wonderful new client in Montana. I love them. I love Montana. I am happy to go home, but always sad to leave when it is time. I could end the blog there, but I won't. :-)
A couple of months ago, I was invited out by a wonderful friend to speak to a group of hospital fundraising and marketing professionals throughout the state of Montana at their bi-annual conference. First of all, I was ecstatic that I was going to be PAID to go to Montana and stay at the amazing Chico Hot Springs Resort. Second, I was getting paid to do something I love - speak about fundraising. Third, I was getting paid to meet new people, and not just any people, but some of the most wonderful, genuine and incredibly nice people I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Of course, I also got to ski a bit before the conference began and I can't say that was anything less than wonderful either.
So as you can see, Montana had me at hello. She was friendly, welcoming, dynamic, big, vast and all around something I wouldn't soon forget. I knew then that I wanted to be Montana. The trick was how to become more like her.
I was lucky enough at that conference to meet some amazing people who were in a tight spot with their current campaign counsel. They were ready to make a switch and invited me to come out and speak to their full board to see if it was a match. Of course, I knew it would be a match on my end, but after our meeting, it was a done deal. I would be out there for a week each month. WOOHOO!
I just returned from my first week and it was better than expected, which is saying a lot. The volunteers were amazing, the CEO was open and willing and very able, the staff were ready to go, easy to work with and incredibly talented. Can you ask for more? All of this surrounded by the amazing state of Montana and all of her charms.
I hope by the end of this contract, not only will we see tremendous success, but also that I will be one step closer to becoming more like her.
I drive myself crazy. I have been blogging in my head over the past year and intentionally not writing it down. I passed it off on being "too busy" or not wanting to share my thoughts with the world. What if someone read them and decided that not only was I "wrong," but also irrelevant.
I began reading Linchpin by Seth Godin today for school and within the first two pages that fire that has been in my belly began to reignite. It isn't that the fire had been extinguished, but that I had pushed it down. I have a life that I wasn't ready to disrupt, compromise, expand, change, etc. This is why I have not posted my "blogged" thoughts - that dang fire. It is nearly impossible to ignore and yet the risk of failure in the attempt to listen to it, follow it, promote it, push it was too great. What if I fail?
We have been taught from day one to not fail. Do not fail in school, do not fail in friendships, do not fail in love, do not fail your drivers test, do not FAIL! And now, here I sit, 32 years old being told in all of my favorite books, from all of my favorite instructors and peers, RISK FAILURE! What? How can I? What does that look like? What do the end results mean? Black and White. When did I become so black and white? And lets face it, I am... incredibly so.
I was having a conversation with one of my instructors/friends/peers/mentors a few weeks ago and as we began discussing something that has been igniting that fire in my belly since I left school last summer, I couldn't begin to fully embrace what I want most because there is too much grey area. I used to love grey - neither here nor there, left and right, up and down, yes and no. And there I sat, for the second time, holding back, questioning, FEARING failure. Because I didn't know what it looked like, what the outcomes would be, how we would make it happen, I couldn't say... YES! I couldn't say YES, I accept this challenge. If I fail, I fail, but I will learn more from that failure than I ever will by playing it safe, at least this is what I am told.
I know in my mind that staying the course is a failure in and of itself. I will become irrelevant - perhaps my worst fear. In risking failure, I open doors, opportunities, push boundaries, excel beyond my boarders. I know in my mind that I should do this, that, and the other - but to DO it... to actually DO and not just THINK about it all.
I cannot say that I will or won't. I cannot predict what the outcomes will be, regardless of my decisions. I can, however, continue reading and let the fire burn until I can no longer ignore it - push it back - redirect it... until I am ready to risk failure.
